My Bucket List :

"Time is a teacher"- the most philosophical statement i quoted on my blog till date. Past few yrs in it taught me that after girls*, if there is anything more bitchy and that you cant trust a bit is- life.
*latest source- Roadies 6.0 :
"Never trust a girl wid innocent face" - Roop (a 22 yr old-Sane-FEmale-with an innocent face)

My latest medical report clearly justifies my idea of doing bungee jumping at 60 as feasible but as i said life is worth not to trust, so here i am pening down a few things that i want to do or want to happen to me before i bid bye for eternity or say before i kick the bucket..

1> Have that one accomplishment to prove that i can achieve more than mediocrity.

2> To go for a long drive with friends at almost mid of night, breaking signals, hitting blockades, everyone at high, though not as much as the speakers of the car.

3> To be a "sadist-at-its-best" for one day. Hurt someone, make them cry, feel miserable and pathetic and take pleasure out of it.

4> To do a samba or salsa or infact anything that somehow resembles dance and can spread the aura of romanticism to the levels of "Casablanca" or "Serendipity".

5> A dim candle lit dinner followed by a dusky moon lit kiss.

6> To feel special in a way that would wet my eyes. You knw the cliche-ical bollywood dialogue "khushi ke aasoon".

7> To give life to one of those fantasy full dream of most of my nights.. inexplicable, unsharable, tinge of errotic agreed but exotic.

P.S 1: Yet to have its taste!!
P.S 2: I dont know how to drive..
P.S 3: why ???? because "good guys finish last"... lol
P.S 4: I suck at dance.. two left feet
P.S 5: I suffer Achluophobia (fear of darkness)
P.S 6: aaahh did i said m a big emotional fool...??
P.S 7: For my friends who take interest in voyeurism, if your thoughts are like family pizza then mine is not more then its toppings, so dnt ponder over this point.
As for the rest of them, if you find any similarity or want to add in mine... let me know!!

ciao..

(even) Rubbish is not the word....

so when something bad has to happen it will happen anyways.. anyhow.. anytime........ any room. I m a little shattered today.
abhi 2.0 : awhh abhi tell us something we dont know, u always write when u are shattered.. rem losing my virginity, a sneak peek, Reso--revisited and topping the chart is JTYJN....)

I had a bunch of nonsense to make headway in my blog since the last post. Some really good craps i was thrilled to dump here. I m going home tomorrow and was supposed to leave some funny posts in my blog to keep it tickle, that's because fortunately (read sadly, inconsolably) no other human knows about the existence of this blog, but what has happened just almost an hr before has led myself fall into an abyss of self-retrospection.

Let me first give you the basic idea of what you will be reading in this post. After reading this post ur doubt that this blog sucks, will convert into surety by all means. when u reach the end of the of the post you will realize that how you could have used this time for much better things like pissing for long hours ( ok i dnt exactly mean "hours" ) in your air conditioned bathroom (i heard my readers are quite elite, they dnt leave comments, avoiding paparazzi n all) , reading champak (the 2nd-3rd class fellows who really louvee my blog and find it "intellectual", gosh! where do they even learn these words from), watching tarzan "again" (for my friends from kalahari). Last and of course the least, this post is going to fetch me comments ( which are like a pie in the sky) as uncanny as "dude you are really so honest" (when they actually mean "man you are such a big windbag"). So being a human myself i have warned you more than lots against reading ahead. But i know reaching this far (and cursing the friend who recommended you to read this blog) u will read the post anyhow, so lets dont waste time pondering uselessly.

Title: Personal means Personal is Personal...... Let it be personal :

prologue : A week before from now one of my close friend in hostel had a solid booze party in his room. Last i heard was he got a little emotional (started crying and sobbing with his face sandwhiched between 2 large pillows) after having a full small bottle of RS (dont know RS ??) . Well even i was touched. Then at 3 in the morning he suddenly woke up and started writing something in his personal diary (which unto that night was his rough copy, i guess) , close to the speed of light.

First chapter : I went to his room for a movie and saw that no one was there. My abhi version 13 always happens to predominate me at such times. I wanted to see what a guy can write at 3 in the midnight when he is drunk enough to distinguish between a pen and pumpkin. I searched and luckily (not so..) found the keys of his wardrobe left carelessly inside one of the pillow's cover. I opened the wardrobe then the diary and then the page dated that night. Third in the list of lashing some of his friends brutally, callously and mercilessly was the name which made me jumped off my feet. It reads exactly like.....

abhishek binani "some people have this habit of talking rubbish". (dude atleast use abhi binani, dnt you know i hate aabhieesshekh..)

Last chapter : rubbish ?? read it again....... and again.... and once more. Check the dictionary, confirm the meaning. The line kept knocking and reverberating 1000 times in my mind. Though the handwriting was more greek than latin, sorry english but come on, i could have understand even mandarin once i know that its MY name written in some ones personal diary. Well when half of the world bellows gibberish outmatching the other half, so i wont brag to be any exception but the thing is dont know why i was and i am still laughing. I have neva been able to give a word to this feeling and still trying....

epilogue : I am writing this post.... I am feeling so dejected and dismal. I feel like go and hug my mom and grumble everything to her a little exaggeratedly.

moral of the story : when your friend is warning you not to read his/her personal diary.......... dude just listen to them, they are your "well wisher" after all....

well i would like to keep the post short giving you yet another chance to escape from this escapadious (this word doesnt exists, so dont try to mug it up) blog. I am sure you will leave loads of beautiful and encouraging comments as always.... love you all .... :)
*i am such a good bargain hunter* *grins* *winks*

Resolutions--------Revisited :

Pingggg...... and there comes the most awaited sms, exactly at 2:45, usually during the boring-est lecture of the day......., my today's "horror-scope" . Among all the applications orkut have launched and i surfed till date, this horoscope really dazzles me. Seems like god himself is pinging me.....

god: Knock-Knock, beta abhi, jaaago........ more than half of the year is over and you are still there,, Mr "nobody", a dread in the thoughts of your parents, a more perturbing issue than the sinking sensex for your brother, an "ever-increasing" debtor of your sister (reminding: 7yrs younger to U), a good for nothing creature for your gf ( gf?? did u mean grilfriend ??,,,, kahan?? kaun??). Its high time beta,, to "revisit your resolutions" ..... or o/w even i wont be able to help U .....
Bbyee, TC, GOD BLESS !!

So this is how god pings me time and again and this time it was a serious reminder ( rem, " or o/w even i wont be able to help U" ??) . So time to revisit the resolutions,, made while gazing stars on the midnite of 31st dec, made wen heart was broken into pieces by a friend (!!??) on the eve of V-day, made wen keshav left forever, made wen i flunked in java n linux (1st time in any sub after class 6's maths) and made wen evrytime i talk to my parents and chat wid my bro.

New-year's eve :
1.. I will make my parents feel proud of me ( an extinct feature since i gt into bansal classes, sweets were distributed to the enitire family and even to our surly neighbour, who later gave it to thier kaamwaali, gurrr!! ) .

2.. I will rekindle the hopes of bhaiya (which were flooded, i guess during the last 2 yrs) . His dream of "Binani Inc" or was it "Binani Brothers" ....?? (dsnt matrs.... i knw wat exactly he meant)

3.. I wont spend the next new year's eve, wasting time, making "resolutions" and "gazing bursting of crackers" from behind the window, rather i would be enjoying it wid my family or with my friends in some pub with hotties arnd ....

4.. I would adhere by the quote " Never let the fear of being striking out, Keep you from playing the game". And i'll propose to HER and lay my heart of hearts infront of her, the next-nearest opportunity that will knock my door......... or even if it dsnt...........
* Heroically *
( Well this resolution in particular and unfortunately reached its expiry date sooner than expected........ my supposed to be gf is today so happy wid her bf that i cant even think of their break up,, so its kinda useless stating it in my "reso-list" any more)
carrying on.....

V-Day's eve :
1.. Never-Ever would i get emotionally involved with ANYBODY (girl is for granted). I wont become so crazy about anyone just to know in the end that you were nothing but a PROVISIONAL - friend.....

2.. I will stop, put a BIG fullstop to this ORKUT thing ( A biggest waste of time and energy..)

3.. I will only concentrate on my studies and would never think about HER..... (who HER ??)

4.. finally i derived a complex-mathematical formula to prove the importance of success over "love and gf" thingy and how its a big waste of your time and more importantly ur dad's money, "moping around in hunt for love" . The formula was called "95% - 5% FORMULA" , which became a big-hit among the singles of my college (I feel proud of myself for inventing what Einstein and Newton never even dared to give a try.... )

1st March's eve ::
1.. Keshav was at his best, on his way to the peak of success and glory, but even god being jealous dint gave him a chance to prove himself to the world.....to live, now since i hv been blessed to live this long and atleast a lil more further, so I wont waste even a mili-second of my life, brooding over any unimportant thing (i knew what exactly i meant by this "unimportant thing"....). I will give my life a better purpose to live and more importantly will work toward it....I promise !!

Thanks a ton to god, i have set my foot on right tracks now; keeping myself busy with java projects (~ my "flunked in java" resolution) .
Keep pinging god.. i would need you by my side forever..... :)
~ your greatest admirer, abhi

Losing My Virginity.......

oh yes.........ohhhh yessss.... ~

NO its definitely not the first sensation of any middling mind that i would be talking abt.....neither has it got any thing to do with the best seller and autobiography of Mr Richard Branson..
A few days before the start of the 4th sem, unto now and going-on, i have been experiencing the inimical colors of this phony pretty looking lady witch, we better know as life. And it seems like this wayward lady has already started ****ing (contents suppressed) me with each of its adverse happenings feels like a new K S position....

confession of an innocent mind~ kurkure effect....
It started, 1st when i got caught in my neighbour's room where a hardcore booze party was going on. Well i was there to have some light snacks, they wre having with fosters. Dont knw what the fuck was the attendant doing at 1 am in the morning came up from nowhere and banged the door. I went to open the door (as my only my mouth was not stinking with the scent of beers ) and i told him that a b'day party is going on and that we are almost over. By that time inside the room each n every attempt of making it look clean and normal was going on. But as Murphy says..when a bad has to happen, it will happen anyway. 1 disposable glass with diminutive amount of beer was present got his eyes hold . Reputation of all of us were commendable till date so no further action or DISCO ( disciplinary committee) was held. Still I had to write the FIRST ever apology letter of my life ( for eating namkeens and kurkure in a room, where, why should i bother if others wre drinking or doping)

suspension~ 1 night @ library.....
Sem started, whoops im abt to become a half engineer. Results maintained their graph ( of negative slope). Then came this night just like any other night. After hving our dinner, me and kamal thought of a walk outside at 10 pm, 2 hrs after the dead line to enter the hostel. And to my dreadful fate, while returning back to hostel, the warden, dean sir and all the possible people whose presence could hv made the situation from worse to worst were present thr (hail murphy !!). A suspension from the hostel for 4 days was avowed, aghast! Well thats the FIRST ever suspension of my life and for kamal he was was counting on his fingers..........

p.s. we spend the 1st night of suspension in the library, which itself was so eventful that it demands a separate sacred space in this blog.... this blockbuster wud be posted soon....
cont...

valentine gift~ errotic.....Oops erratic....
16th edition
13th feb : 8:05 pm
Next day is V-day, for me like a special day this time, not that i was xpecting any "i like you" or "i love you" kind of mind-soothing, heart-tempting phrases, but still i was happy to hv a very special girl in my life, and it was enf to had her evn as frnd that day (also she was single to the best of my knowledge but that was hardly any bonus for me.... :P ) ; I called her and we chatted for some 10-12 mins (little shorter than our usual half an hr chit chats.......) and at the end of conversation she told me about her new found love....

That night was a little disheartening and i deleted almost all the materialistic memories of her ( she would feel awfully blissful and relieved if she'll ever get to know this............. ). I dnt knw y i was feeling this way but it was just a transient gale of emotions and very soon made i up my mind wid a smiling face to forget evrythng and treasure my best ever "she - frnd", cos at no cost, could i afford to loose someone, i hv spend one of the best times of my life with (dsnt matters if most of it was on phone only) , to let go out of my life for any stupid reason (not now atleast, when i gotta need her badly.......) ; .... :)
But the unexpected was yet to happen..
Murphy says....
leave to themselves things tends to go from bad to worse.....

she was changing (or im nt sure if it was nly me who was feelin dat way.....) and so was her attitude ; She didnt needed a frnd anymore to divulge her assorted feelings or to share the long craps with (thanks to the "johnny-come-lately"......); miscalls became a formality and msgs (what the heck are they ??) and that call turned out to be our last ever exchange of words.... Not only i lost an amazing friend but the most serious crush (could have used a better word here, but that would sound too slushy....) of my life; Im glad & content that im out of her life at the time when she is elated like never before....a brand new boyfrnd and admission to an elite colg; Well who cares, there is always-- Another-- Better-- ...............brooding over my mind, i ended up all. Atleast a 1000 questions still drubbing my mind, i was supposed to remain unanswered;
(now before i get even more nostalgic and engender a blueprint for another weepy ekta kapoor's soap let us discuss it no further..... never further.......)

p.s. There's never Another--Better........ its olwayss the "second-best" that follows.... and i got many other btr things to do..

beyond life ~ loss, unfathomable....
1st march : 8:00 pm
My mid sem is to start from the day after tomorrow and my cell starts singing.. Had she come to knw abt my exams from my orkut profile and has called to wish me up or may be its long time we didnt talk to each other and dat the wait is over...or ya possibly............... running on my mind i took the cell and a no point guess........ that it wasnt her........
Preeti, my cousin staying in chennai had called me. I didnt took mch long to find out that she was sounding different, very different from her usual 10 sec long Hiieeeeeeeeeee......
putting end to my utter disgust she told me that Keshav is no more....and bursted into tears. gobsmacked, I hanged up the phone, went outside the hostel and only 1 thing beating my mind "what the fuck! i hv send him a get well soon sms last night only" i spent the rest of the night thinking about him. I have never been to any party or any social gathering without him, more than just being my 1st cousin, he was my bestest bddy in cal. What am i goin to do now in cal what about the durga puja night outs...holyyyy fuck! how could this even happen to him, he is just 18, never fagged,neva doped, never drunk nt evn more than a novice like me..... 2008 is turning out to be a bad omen for everyone (with a few exceptions, founding new loves and getting admissions to their dream place) but dnt know why i still wanted to talk to her, may be cos she always managed to bring a smile on my face, either telling me the stupidiest crush stories of her life or by the poorest of jokes dnt knw how she cracks them so well, her infantile accent and smtimes just listening to her melodious angle like voice was more then enf (and for the next 1 month i wanted to....and i waited too) but no big surprise that she was soo happy and busy with her ongoing life that she hardly ever felt the absence of any friend (frnd she once said "i like you"................. duh);
Life's sch a bitch......I would write a whole new article on this keshav-mishap in my later posts....
cont....

Xshtraa toppings ........

I lost in a literary competition, sensex sinking down,nt studying well, gym is all-over, not evn making it to the podium in the quiz events (call myself a hardcore quizer), routine is comp disturbed..... are i know not the points worth mentioning here but its just like adding toppings to the sequence of unfortunate events happening with me (not that significant) but with people around me and people i love....
Its not the 2 more months this sem has to go (and probably this curse as well) thats making me overwrought. But.........i m really missing all the fun and................... friends